Yikes! All 100 and one minutes of it! While I give it a listen, allow me to tell some jokes of the trade.
Two psychiatrists met up at a party. One said to the other, You're fine. How am I?
Two psychiatrists encounter one another walking down the street. One psychiatrist says Hello, and the other psychiatrist thinks, I wonder what he meant by that?
Working the evening shift on a slow night on the psychiatric unit, my co-workers and I devised a mental status exam for the seriously impaired. The standard mental status exam is a series of questions meant to establish if someone is oriented to time, person, place, situation and object. The first question we came up with involved getting right up into someone's face and asking, What is your name Bob? If Bob can't answer correctly, you know he is really messed up. The second of our questions was, Who is buried in Grant's tomb? Either Grant or his horse are acceptable answers. The third question: What time did Paul Revere go on his midnight ride? If the patient were to ask if it was during standard or daylight savings time, we would give him a pass. After all, who isn't confused about daylight savings time...?
A man went to a psychiatrist who showed him the standard set of inkblots. When asked what the first looked like, the man said, It looks like two people f*cking. When asked what the second inkblot looked like, the man said, It looks like a woman getting herself off with a big dildo. When asked what the third inkblot looked like, the man said, It looks like a guy and a goat -- you know -- doing it. The psychiatrist put the inkblots away and told the man, It appears that you are obsessed with sex. The man, very much insulted, replied, But you are the one with the dirty pictures!
Yikes! All 100 and one minutes of it! While I give it a listen, allow me to tell some jokes of the trade.
ReplyDeleteTwo psychiatrists met up at a party. One said to the other, You're fine. How am I?
Two psychiatrists encounter one another walking down the street. One psychiatrist says Hello, and the other psychiatrist thinks, I wonder what he meant by that?
Working the evening shift on a slow night on the psychiatric unit, my co-workers and I devised a mental status exam for the seriously impaired. The standard mental status exam is a series of questions meant to establish if someone is oriented to time, person, place, situation and object. The first question we came up with involved getting right up into someone's face and asking, What is your name Bob? If Bob can't answer correctly, you know he is really messed up. The second of our questions was, Who is buried in Grant's tomb? Either Grant or his horse are acceptable answers. The third question: What time did Paul Revere go on his midnight ride? If the patient were to ask if it was during standard or daylight savings time, we would give him a pass. After all, who isn't confused about daylight savings time...?
A man went to a psychiatrist who showed him the standard set of inkblots. When asked what the first looked like, the man said, It looks like two people f*cking. When asked what the second inkblot looked like, the man said, It looks like a woman getting herself off with a big dildo. When asked what the third inkblot looked like, the man said, It looks like a guy and a goat -- you know -- doing it. The psychiatrist put the inkblots away and told the man, It appears that you are obsessed with sex. The man, very much insulted, replied, But you are the one with the dirty pictures!
I believe the only difference between the staff and the patients in most psychiatric is that one set of nut jobs might recover and leave.
ReplyDeleteAs I told my clients, It's OK to be crazy, but its not OK to get caught.
ReplyDelete