Groan

Groan

Originally shared by Virgil Cowen

For Those Who Enjoy A Well Turned Phrase
 
For Those Who Enjoy Language (or Severe Distortions, thereof ), a few puns included.
1 A man’s home is his castle, in a manor of speaking.
2 Dijon vu - the same mustard as before.
3 Practice safe eating - always use condiments.
4 Those who jump off a bridge in Paris must be in Seine.
5 A man needs a mistress just to break the monogamy.
6 A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
7 Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?
8 Reading while sunbathing makes you well red.
9 When two egotists meet, it’s an I for an I.
10 A bicycle can’t stand on its own because it is two tired.
11 Definition of a will: A dead give away.
12 She was engaged to a boyfriend with a wooden leg but broke it off.
13 A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
14 If you don’t pay your exorcist, you’ll get repossessed.
15 With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.
16 When a clock is hungry, it goes back four seconds.
17 You feel stuck with your debt if you can’t budge it.
18 Local Area Network in Australia: the LAN down under.
19 Every calendar’s days are numbered.
20 A lot of money is tainted - It taint yours and it taint mine.
21 A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.
22 A midget fortune-teller who escapes from prison is a small medium at large.
23 Once you’ve seen one shopping center, you’ve seen a mall.
24 Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead-to-know basis.
25 Santa’s helpers are subordinate clauses.