So true - esp. the dancing...

So true - esp. the dancing...

Originally shared by Russ

There are few actions one can take in life that always result in a positive outcome. Taking off your pants is one of those few blessed events.

Several things can happen after you take off your pants. In my personal experience, each and every one of those events that happen after I take off my pants are good things indeed. I recon you share this experience as well.

I'll even take it one step further: The chance of something good happening seems to be much higher when you have your pants off rather than on.

For example, have you ever been to a funeral without wearing pants? Of course not. Funerals require pants.

When it is your wedding day, you put on a tuxedo, which includes pants. When you take off those pants, you will find that your testicles will be missing.

Notice that when the State executes prisoners, they are wearing pants. I mean the guy that's about to die. Those other assholes are probably wearing pants too.

You can't shit your pants unless you are wearing pants.

Wearing sandals with pants looks downright silly. Thus, wearing pants significantly reduces your footwear options.

Laundering pants is more expensive than any other legwear option.

These days most pants are made by children who are slaves.

According to the bible, Jesus Christ did not wear pants.

Your existence began with a pantsless situation.

If you're not careful when you zip up your fly, you could cause major damage to your penis. The law of averages is not in your favor here.

Testicles work better when they are nice and cool. Wearing pants makes your testicles warmer, which will lead you to having sperm that make retarted babies. Retarted babies are very expensive. You may not be able to afford pants anymore if you have one. If you had simply not worn pants to begin with, you would have a healthy child and a handsome savings dividend.

Have you ever seen a picture of Richard Nixon not wearing any pants? That should tell you something.

Muhammed Ali seemed fine until he started wearing pants all the time.

It's easier to dance when you're not wearing any pants.

Rednecks.

Go ahead. Take off your pants. Do it now.

I promise that as soon as you do, things will be better than they are right now.